It has been quite a while I’ve posted new poems or stories here…
This time around, I intend giving you a hint of my life last weekend
Prior to the weekend (keep reading this whether or not you are a Christian or atheist, theist i.e. non-christian), we had our last youth service for this year at my Church and I felt I should present something like always. Sometimes, we are so used to doing something that it loses its flavour. Usually, I’ll read a poem on a youth service which happens once a month and I’ve done that consecutively for approximately 10 months. This time, although I felt I should, I did not get the inspiration to. Prior to that, I woke up one morning and was inspired to write a poem and which was really good. I felt I should read that instead considering I lost inspiration for the youth event. Thank God I didn’t because the theme of the occasion although it could have linked but it would not read as much meaning as other days. All I am saying is, sometimes we need to pause and watch or think. Life is not single directional.
My last weekend was an amazing one. I attended a conference in Telford and it was so blessed. The ideas that sprang out from the youths were amazing that I just couldn’t stop but imagine the handwork of God. God is so intelligent and organised that the way he made things go, we could already envisage the upcoming year producing greater fruits than we expect.
The blessings I received from that event was greater than I expected. I had the privilege of confiding in someone about my life struggles and God used this person to speak to me immensely. Have you ever felt that life is being unfair? You struggle so hard and you don’t get it but there are those who do not struggle up to half of what you do and they get the best results in life.. That was me a month ago. I felt “I’ll just give up”, “I can’t do it anymore” no matter how hard I try to stop saying “I can’t” it never works. I decided to “give it up” but not to finding solutions, but to give it up to Jesus.. he just had to handle it in his own way.
We had a reality talk and I could not stop the tears from making pathways down my cheeks, over my lips, to my chin and finally on my skirt. It was overwhelming that I felt definitely God had to do something. Yes, we are called Youth Workers, but we are humans, we’ve got our struggles too. Though we mentor people, we need Jesus to pray for us. Life’s journey is the longest route ever/to be travelled. Everyone needs a helping hand to go through it. Many (like myself) show their grief by smiling. For months I smiled through the storm but I complained inwardly. I laughed with everyone but stomped hard behind doors. I patted backs with “Congrats” and “God bless you” but I beat myself so hard in my closet. It was a milestone of grief and pain but in all of it God was there and he came just in time to sort me out.
I have learnt through my weekend that though we may think we are going through the toughest of situations, there are many more going through worse situations than yourself. Instead of you asking “Why me” (just like we were told) ask “What do you want me to learn”. The maker could pick out the stones off your life just like the potter picks out the stones from the clay; the maker could decide to fire you, or mould you but he is preparing you for a Decoration. Then you’d be so beautiful without blemish…
No matter what you are going through, there’s someone who has gone through it and who paid it all just for you. Jesus. He also can see you through. Let him hold your hand and lead you.