Thoughts of a troubled heart


Lying on the bed,

My face almost cadaverous,

but for the heart beat that pumps some more red liquid through my head

to the veins in my face

My hands stiff and feeling warm

I begin to think what life on the other side will be like

I catch a glimpse of my deep thought

My head swarm in pain and the ache in my body

Just couldn’t be .. “Oh, what will it be when the face of my master I see?”

My heart beats even faster when I think of earth,

All the problems untold,

The debts unpaid,

The stories of the heart unwritten,

Matters of the heart so so deep

It takes just the moment of the glory-glimpse

to wipe away that fear

Realising there’s something better up there

My gaze is up to the sky,

Smile comes across my face when I remember those who have gone before me

The wonderful moments we shared

The beautiful stories they told me,

The smile, their laughter – how it sounded,

The way they argued and tried to drive their point through the thick tissues of the head

Oh, what a day that will be?

I whispered slowly “I can’t wait”,

Gasping as I thought life ebbed out of me

My eyes heavy, “I wish to go dear Lord“, I prayed

Waiting patiently for the dark moment to take its place

Waiting quietly for the cold silence that usually has its place when that angel comes

I hoped for that city because I just settled my debts,

My debts with the Lord, and debts with the World

I gave it all up, apologised all and forgave all

The peace that existed, I no longer wish to experience the heartache of the World

I wished to leave, to be home and to hear him say “Welcome Home my Child”

Oh, and then to hear the real angels sing Hallelujah

I smile and smile as I await that moment

For the Lord wishes us to take people along

but my work hasn’t been completed

Oh for that peace, I wish to ever contain and share the joy every where I go

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